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Tomorrow, a lot of us will sit down at tables with the people we love… and quietly brace ourselves for what might come out of their mouths. We’re bracing, not because we don’t care about them, but because we know how quickly a conversation can turn from “can you pass the stuffing?” to “how the hell can you possibly belive that?” There have been plenty of holidays where I’ve walked away from the table feeling more alone than when I arrived, and more convinced that the distance

When my nephew lost his first tooth, my parents and I fell into that familiar nostalgia spiral, one story tumbling into the next, until my mom mentioned Amanda . My very own, personal tooth fairy. Apparently, while other kids were just fine with the vague quarter under their pillow, I needed the full biography of the fairy flying into my room at night. At the ripe age of six, I started to grill my mother with critical questions. Who is this fairy taking my teeth?  Why do they

TL;DR Artificial intelligence runs on data, prediction, and pattern recognition, and so do we. Our brains are the first neural networks, constantly predicting reality through the lens of our past experiences, sensory inputs, emotions, and environments. Understanding how both AI algorithms and minds “learn” and produce outputs can help us retrain bias, deepen empathy, and reconnect with fellow humans in our modern world that's optimized for speed, not understanding. When the M

The moment I learned Dr. Jane Goodall died, it felt as if the earth forgot how to breathe. The woman who taught the world to see every soul - in fur, feather, and flesh - had finally joine d the forest she spent her life learning from. I looked out the window, and the air held still, as if the world was collectively bowing in gratitude. I’ve dreaded this day for a lo ng time. Jane’s passing left the air thinner, the world a little quieter. It also made the work of Defining So

And The Simple Shifts to Reconnect “In short, everyone seemed to have their eyes open, but no one was seeing each other.” – David Brooks Have you ever felt that? Surrounded by people, but somehow still unseen. I’ve been reading David Brooks’ How to Really Know a Person,  and the timing feels almost too perfect as I launch Defining Sonder. On the surface, “seeing” someone seems so simple…open your eyes, look their way, and there they are. But it’s not that easy, because we are

I thought " sonder"  meant looking for the hidden depths in strangers. But the truth I didn’t want to face was that I’d stopped looking for them at home. I had lost connection with the person I thought  I knew best - my partner of more than seven years. That realization hit even harder after reading How To Really Know a Person  by David Brooks. (Quick shoutout to Tris Burns' Bad Ass Bookshelf  for putting it on my radar.) Brooks shares a statistic that stopped me in my tracks

Before I ever worked in the data space, I spent well over a decade working in bars and restaurants. I didn’t know it at the time, but those are the years I learned some of the most valuable skills I still carry with me today: How to really see people. How to actively listen. How to make someone feel like they belong. In the service industry, you learn quickly that people don’t just come in for a drink or a meal.  They come in to be noticed. To be remembered. To feel, if only

Just do something . That’s what I keep telling myself right now. Just type. Just get words on the page. This is my first ever blog post, so I know it won’t be perfect (not even close) , but I also know it has to exist because this is the beginning of Defining Sonder. The beginning of… something. I’m not really sure I know what that "something"  is yet…but I feel it in my bones that this is going to be a life-changing journey of growth, empathy, compassion, connection, and ( i